Wicked Game
by Belletrist Word Salad
Summary: Post Pilot Chapter. What a wicked game he plays, to make them feel this way. What a wicked thing he does, to make them dream of him... NaruSai, NaruSasu, NaruSaku, eventual mpreg.
1. Chapter I: To Make Me Feel This Way

**Disclaimer:** Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto, Wicked Game © Chris Isaak, covered by Giant Drag.

**Author's Note:** You know the drill: post pilot chapter but incorporating canon elements. Don't like it? Read my profile on flames. Or…you know where you can go or what you can eat or do to yourself.

And I changed ROOT to TAMA. TAMA refers to the Hoshi no Tama that Inari's messengers were said to carry and which represented their intangible souls. Since ROOT refers to being the "root" of the village of Leaves, TAMA would refer to being the intangible "soul" of Oinari, which is just another name for Inari.

**The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
****It's strange what desire will make foolish people do  
****I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you  
****I never dreamed that I'd love somebody**

**And I don't wanna fall in love  
****No, I don't wanna fall in love**

—from Giant Drag's cover

Wicked Game

To Make Me Feel This Way

From his position atop the dewy grass, Naruto, knuckleheaded pariah extraordinaire, looked up to see the clouds parting way to display those fireflies stuck in the big bluish-black thing. Just then, there was a brief streak across the bluish-blackness.

"A shooting star. Guess one of those fireflies managed to free himself," the young kitsune observed with a slight chuckle before thoughts of a more contemplative nature entered his cranium.

"Sasuke…"

"_Come to think of it, isn't becoming Houshukage one of your dreams?" _

_Naruto couldn't help but notice the breath caressing his ear…and the almost sultry voice uttering it._

"_If you have time to chase me around, you would have been better off training. Don't you think…Naruto?"_

_One thing three years didn't change: Sasuke's ability to go for the throat._

"_And that's why this time—(here, a piercing sound of metal unsheathing filled the air)—you'll end up losing your life, all at a whim."_

_But Naruto refused to be overdone:_

"_Like someone who couldn't save a friend could become Houshukage. Don't _you_ think…Sasuke?"_

"_Hn." With that, the Uchiha's blade descended, ready to pierce tan flesh…_

Naruto screamed, pulling himself out of the horrible flashback as he forced himself to remember his latest and greatest failure. But before he could wallow in such any longer:

"Naruto-kun?" a familiar voice asked.

"Ah!" Sitting up, the Kyuubi vessel soon found himself looking into orbs of obsidian and let out a relieved yet frustrated sigh.

"Dammit, Sai. Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry," made the seemingly hurt response of the former TAMA nin. "If you want me to leave, I will," he continued, figuring Naruto was just not feeling up to snuff due his Uchiha-related impotence.

"No, no. You can stay." As annoying as the guy could be, Naruto was in need of any distraction from his emasculating anti-victory. However, considering the other male's slight resemblance to said Uchiha (and his Freudian occupation with size), the blonde was starting to regret that.

"What are you doing here anyway?" It wasn't like many people knew that the grassy knoll in proximity of the lake was Naruto's thinking spot.

"I…I just wanted to say sorry you couldn't bring Sasuke-kun back." Leave it to Sai to bring that up, Naruto thought wryly as his face scrunched at this unpleasantry.

"Still need to work on that tact, Sai," was his equally dry response.

"It's not a question of tact, Naruto-kun. I honestly want to know how you're taking it." This time, the artist's voice held a tone of testing the waters that didn't go unnoticed by the jinchuuriki.

"Isn't it obvious? In fact, hasn't it been obvious since that damn mission?" The tetchy response made Sai recoil ever so slightly, but he wouldn't be deterred.

A resolute sigh escaped the other's lips. He didn't know how to phrase what he was about to say next. Maybe bluntness would work.

"I know you've said that Sasuke-kun's your closest bond, and that's why you're so driven to save him, correct?"

"Yeah. So what?" Didn't this guy get the memo already?

"Well…do you think there'll be anyone else you'll feel so strongly about?"

Naruto turned back to his companion, a look of serious weirded out upon his vulpine features. "Where're you going with this, Sai?"

Sai opened his mouth to say something, but it died on his lips. Not that it went unnoticed by Naruto.

"This again?" he snarled, rounding on Sai. "I'd thought I'd gotten it through to you: Sasuke is the first true friend I've ever had. He's the most important thing in my life, and no one is going to take that place!"

"Not even me?"

Naruto turned at the uncharacteristic huskiness, only to find himself and the other boy nose-to-nose…and then, lip-to-lip.

About a minute elapsed and the next thing Sai knew, he was thrown off violently and his back met the terra below before the blonde wordlessly stalked away.

Sai had been getting a crash course in emotions over the past few weeks; pain from Sakura, fear from Sasuke…and from Naruto, an emotion that blurred his vision and tightened his throat as he recalled Naruto looming above him, a snarl of absolute disgust marring his vulpine features.


	2. Chapter II: You Never Felt This Way

**On the previous Wicked Game:** Sai made a bold move…one that a certain blonde didn't exactly appreciate.

**Author's Notes:** Yes, I put a song in this chapter. Why, you ask? 'Cause all the other chappies had songs to go with them and I didn't want Chapter II to be left out of the fun!

**Why should a quarrel upset you so?**

**Anyone halfway adult must know**

**Misunderstandings will come and go**

**Wait and see, it'll all blow over**

—from Cabaret's It'll All Blow Over

You Never Felt This Way

Sakura stood back from the door to Naruto's apartment, having just knocked it.

"U-uh…Naruto moved out!"

Sakura sighed exasperatedly. "Naruto, it's Sakura."

Three seconds later, the door opened, revealing a disheveled and panting blonde clutching something in a tight fist.

Looking at the object in his hand, Sakura couldn't help but have a look of weirded out upon her features. "What's with the flyswatter?" She got her answer a second later when the household pest the swatter was intended for landed on the blonde's nose.

A bloodthirsty grin spread on the blonde's visage as he aimed the swatter parallel to his nose. "Die, you six-legged bastard!"

_Wham! _

The pink-haired femme burst into giggles when the whisker-cheeked boy hit himself square on the nose, leaving an angry red crisscross pattern, an equally pissed Naruto…and no dead fly.

As Naruto resumed his relentless pursuit of the fly that just wouldn't die, Sakura let herself in, closing the door behind her and taking a seat on his couch.

"Naruto!" she shouted in the blonde's direction when she heard the sound of breaking glass.

"It's a _fly_!"

"I _know_ it's a fly! We need to talk!"

"It walked on my ramen!"

With a frustrated growl, she stalked into the kitchen, literally taking manners into her own hands when she snatched the swatter from the fox boy's clutches.

"It'll fly out on its own, you idiot."

As she walked back to the couch, swatter in hand, Naruto glared in the direction of The Fly, who had the nerve to land on his ceiling. "You live for now," he growled balefully. He reached into the fridge, withdrawing two cans before following his pink-haired teammate.

"Beer, Sakura-chan?"

"Uh, thanks, but no thanks." It never ceased to amaze her that Naruto had underage access to alcohol. Then again, her close student-teacher relationship with Tsunade gave her underage access to sake, so who was she to talk?

But she wasn't here to discuss Naruto's budding alcoholism. "Naruto, why didn't you come to training yesterday?"

"Tch. What are you talking about?"

"How 'bout the fact that we were training with one of your bunshin and it _evaporated _when Sai landed a hit?"

Naruto scrunched his face. "It did, huh?"

Sakura sighed. "You're avoiding Sai because of what happened the other night."

Naruto's eyes snapped open as incredulity danced across his own features. "You know about that?"

In fact, Sakura had been Sai's confidante about his feelings for Naruto and as such, was the one to whom he'd confided his rejection. It was the first time Sakura had actually seen the "emotionless" one cry.

"He actually cried?"

"Yeah. So I think you were a little harsh with him."

"Oh c'mon, Sakura-chan! The guy fuckin' kissed me, and right after he said I should just give up on Sasuke!" At this moment, the young kitsune caught sight of The Fly landing on the ceiling above them.

Eyeing the swatter out the corner of said organ of vision, Naruto swiped it before Sakura could stop him. "I'm _never_ giving up on Sasuke!" Just as he wouldn't give up on this damn fly.

The pink-haired femme's expression turned cross, and not just from the blonde taking back the swatter. "Y'know Naruto, instead of pining for someone who couldn't care less about you, how 'bout taking a chance on someone who actually feels a bond with you?"

"Oh, since when does _he_ know what he feels?"

Oblivious to Sakura's incredulity, Naruto let out a war cry as he swatted The Fly's new landing spot.

_WHAM!_

At last! That noisome household pest met its doom. But as the fly's inky viscera slid down the wall, Naruto realized something was off.

"Uh, Sakura-chan? Are flies made out of ink?"

"No!" Then Sakura gasped lightly, her eyes widening in realization. "But Sai's are."

The next thing the diversely blonde pair knew, the ink rearranged itself into a swarm of hornets having at Naruto with their stingers.

"Save yourself, Sakura-chan!"

Heeding his cries, Sakura ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Good talk," she uttered wryly to the door before leaving Naruto to his fate.


	3. Chapter III: The World Was on Fire

**On the previous WG:** Naruto learned the painful consequences of underestimating Sai's feelings.

**So if you kiss me****  
****If we touch****  
****Warning's fair****  
****I don't care very much**

—from Cabaret's I Don't Care Much

The World Was on Fire

How strange it was that something you couldn't have given a shit about a lifetime ago nearly drove you to tears now. Such were the thoughts flowing through the cranium of the one known as Sai as he glared at the canvas that was a bleak as his life had become.

It'd been exactly four weeks since the Ninja Once Known as Dickless agreed to at least have a "friends-with-benefits" relationship with the emotionally-challenged artist…and it was just that: friends…with benefits. When the blonde wasn't fucking him raw, he treated him as before. When in public, Naruto would rebuff any attempt at affection from holding hands to a simple kiss on the cheek, both of which Sai read were common gestures among couples. The only way one could tell anything intimate happened between them was when Sai sported a slight limp.

And on top of that, Naruto never said those three words, nor would he let Sai say them; if they were in public, Naruto would always see something that caught his attention and cut Sai off, and when in private, mostly during a fuck session, Naruto would cut him off with a kiss…a kiss that a part of Sai knew harbored no love.

And speaking of fuck sessions, it seemed that these were more perfunctory than anything. During their first few coupling sessions, it was safe to assume that even if Sai's love wasn't reciprocated, at least they both had fun. After those sessions, the jinchuuriki would lay with him, maybe even give him a quick kiss, as they wallowed in the afterglow.

But as of late, instead of wallowing with Sai, Naruto would withdraw quickly then immediately turn away, redress, then walk out, all without saying a word.

All this left Sai to wonder: Was Naruto-kun getting bored with him?

And if he was…what could he do?

In the clutches of yet another emotion he couldn't quite put his finger on, Sai flung down his paintbrush as he let out an aggrieved half-sigh half-sob and covered his face with his hands, shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

* * *

"So, how are things going with you and…whatshisname?"

"It's Sai…and things aren't going great," made Naruto's response to his drunkard friend Kuroda.

_Sai, what am I to do about you?_

Such were the thoughts flowing through the cranium of the blonde kitsune as he downed yet another brew he'd gained underage access to.

Indeed, he was filled with frustration…sexual frustration, because quite frankly, he was getting bored of the occupied-with-size brunet, such that even the thought of "proving that he had a dick" had lost its novelty. And to make matters worse, Sai's recent moodiness made it so that the artist could no longer tolerate it and the blonde ceased to enjoy it.

Long story short…Naruto was glad Jiraiya wasn't here to see him in this emasculated state.

* * *

It was now three minutes before four in the morning and had Naruto been sober at this moment, he would've reflected on the irony of his current situation: Kuroda carrying him back to Sai's apartment, the near inverse of a similar situation four years earlier.

"Well, you're here, kid," said Kuroda as he set Naruto in front of the door and left for his own apartment. As he wobbled with a drunkard's finesse, Naruto's intoxicated gray matter had enough sobriety to consider its owner lucky that Sai always kept his window open as by some miracle he stumbled toward the brunet's couch, where he finally surrendered to the constant power of gravity and then to the frequent power of slumber, blissfully unaware of the footsteps heading his way…and of the rage lurking within their origin…

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?"

Blinking slowly and reluctantly, the fox boy let Hypnos depart from him the second time that morning. Half-growling half-groaning again, for he knew it was none other than his current uke, his not-so-sober cerebral matter pondered why said uke had to ask such a question _now_. This wasn't a mission—couldn't a guy grab a little more sleep?

With this in mind, the blonde vulpine mustered enough strength to turn so his form was facing opposite the former TAMA nin.

"DICKLESS!"

Okay, _that_ would make him rise. _Again_ with the insults to his manhood?

"Sai…don't…call me that…"

The brunet was anything but pleased with such a remark.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb with me!" the other snarled, "You just came home and it's now—" he paused, glancing at the clock on his wall—"four in the morning!" He crossed his arms, his glare darkening.

"I suppose you're not gonna tell me where you've been all night!"

Oh fuck. Sai knew. Maybe he should've invited him as well; at least Sai wouldn't be bitching at him _now_.

"Uh…"

"Don't 'uh' me, you dickless cheat! What were you up to last night?"

Wait! He didn't know! Sai thought he'd been fucking around with someone else!

"No, Sai. It's not what you think. I'm not fucking around with anyone—other than you, of course—if that's what you're thinking…"

He quickly rose to reassure his significant other, only for his mouth to salivate as bile clawed the back of his throat. Oh fuck! Why now? With hands over mouth, Naruto ran as swiftly as he could, just barely making it out the door before spewing alcoholic bile onto the streets below, completely unaware of the clenching and unclenching fists of his uke. Just as he was wiping his mouth, he felt a violent jerk from behind as he was tugged inside. An equally violent motion later, he found himself on the floor, face to face with an enraged Sai.

"You dickless pantywaist," he snarled menacingly, paintbrush and scroll in hand, as he advanced on Naruto, who was steadily backed against the wall, "You scare me to death thinking you're fucking around…only for me to find out that you were only DRUNK?"

Oh, Naruto was gonna get it now.

* * *

"You're not bullshitting me? You're really here stay?"

Naruto couldn't believe the conversation he was having, much less _who_ he was having it with. He'd come home after reading a rather terse note from Sai saying that he'd be on a mission for a week, only to find none other than Sasuke waiting on his bed.

"Hn. Turned out that bastard Orochimaru wasn't planning on helping me kill Itachi. In fact, my brother has been dead for a while, but Orochimaru withheld that from me. So I killed him and Kabuto then came back. Simple as that."

Simple as that. A little _too_ simple, it seemed. Three years of training with Ero-Sennin and then that crushing failure that involved Sasuke trying to kill him, and he returns just like that? And on top of that…

"…why hasn't Tsunade-baachan said anything?"

Here, Sasuke smirked. "She wanted to, but I told her I wanted to surprise you." With that, he leaned forward, planting a kiss on the blonde's lips.

Now rather than elaborating what Naruto does next, perhaps this author can suffice with this commentary: it is a terrible thing to betray your lover, no matter how rough a patch your relationship is in. Oh, if only someone had enlightened our favorite blonde on this; then everyone involved (especially those yet unborn) would've been spared a lifetime of grief. But alas: no one, not even father figures Iruka nor the long-deceased Sandaime, grandmother figure Tsunade, nor even uncle figure Kakashi, who valued friendship, took the time to give him such advice. Shinobi prioritize how to survive, not how to love; that you had to learn on your own. And the Gallant Jiraiya, whilst renowned for his prowess as a ninja, was also notorious for his perversity. Consequently, during the three years they spent together, his young student was exhausted not only from training, but from pleasure, and Naruto had only learned the priapic art of fucking, not that dreadful everything that could come with it known as the relationship.

So in light of this, perhaps it is no surprise that this thought never entered Naruto's mind, not as he planted more seeds of his destiny into Sasuke…


	4. Chapter IV: A Wicked Game to Play

**On the previous WG:** Let the game begin!

Also, I decided to cut Suigetsu out of this story. Reading it now, his presence just seems…random.

**Two ladies  
****Two ladies.  
****And he's the only man.  
****Ja!**

**I like it,****  
****They like it!****  
****This two for one!**

—from Cabaret's Two Ladies

A Wicked Game to Play

_It was evening, and Kakashi, his blonde students, and Kuroda were all having drinks at the bar that was the drunkard's favorite haunt. Naruto had been the last to arrive, and judging from the way he kept grinning and snickering, he must've done something stupid or dirty. Or both._

"_So, what's new…Naruto?" Kakashi asked as he glanced the blonde from the corner of his eye. _

"_Oh, man—!" Naruto began enthusiastically, then backpedaled when he saw Sakura's curious expression, "I-I mean, nothing." He then regained that smile he had previously, that wicked smile of something juicy to tell. "So…Sakura-chan, isn't Sasuke hot?"_

_Sakura's brow scrunched in confusion, but she answered nonetheless. "Not to me anymore. In fact, Naruto, I think you're the only idiot here who's pondered that." And why _would_ Naruto ponder such when he already had Sai?_

"_Not true," the drunkard past his prime piped up after taking a swig of his drink. "I've pictured him naked hundreds of times. Why just this morning, I was taking a shower—"_

"_Now, now, Kuroda," the perpetually-masked man interrupted, not even looking up from his book. "It's absolutely inappropriate and disrespectful to talk about how hot somebody's teammate is, no matter how bad you wanna give it to him." Here, he resumed looking at Naruto from the corner of his visible eye. "Right, Naruto?"_

_By now, it was evident that whatever Naruto wanted to say, he couldn't hold it in much longer as he snickered and looked ready to jump out of his chair. "Oh man…oh man…I just—"_

"_What is it, boy?" Kakashi asked, slightly teasing, "Is there trouble? Is there something you wanna tell us about Sasuke?"_

"_I TOTALLY DID IT WITH HIM!" Naruto blurted, giving a double thumbs-up while his cheeky grin never ceased._

_Shocked beyond words, Sakura voiced the only thing that could come to her mind: _

"_WHAT?"_

_Naruto snapped back to reality, stuttering when he took in the pink-haired femme's scandalized face. "I-I mean…he took advantage of me…I-I-I'm violated…"_

_But Naruto had forgotten one important detail. "You idiot. Your thumbs are still up."_

_Naruto looked at his hands and after seeing Kuroda's observation, undid his opposable digits and scratched the back of his head, chuckling awkwardly. "Acting's hard."_

"_Shut up, perv! You're not single! C'mon!"_

"_I know," Kakashi added, still skimming his book as usual. "It's forbidden, taboo, titillating…"_

"_Isn't it ironic that 'titillating' has the word 'tit' in it?"_

"_Oh man—y'know, that reminds me—"_

"_No! Shut up!" Sakura interjected before Naruto could continue. "Look, I swear to God, you say one more word about Sasuke, I'm telling Sai!"_

_Naruto's eyes turned shallow, cold, and afraid as he numbed at the possible repercussions of the pink-haired girl's threat. _

"_Oh God. I forgot about Sai."_

_Kakashi snickered. "Right, right. You forgot you have this Freudian ball-and-chain attached to you. I mean, it could happen."_

_Naruto spent the rest of their conversation staring blankly at the table, able to think only one thing: _I'm screwed.

* * *

"So what's wrong, Sai?" Sakura couldn't help but be concerned for her friend's wellbeing, not when he looked paler than usual (something in and of itself) and as if he would either throw up or burst into tears any minute.

"I've been feeling ill recently, Sakura-san, and I figured you could see what's wrong with me." Sai figured it was just stress and depression resulting from his crumbling relationship with Naruto. Ever since he'd returned from his weeklong mission a month ago, Naruto had become even more distant; there were even days when they didn't speak at all…or when Naruto just wasn't present.

"Ok, so how ill have you been?" Sakura asked as Sai sat on the hospital bed.

"I can hardly keep anything in my stomach and I've been throwing up the past few mornings," Sai elaborated.

"Okay." So far, Sakura figured it was either the stomach flu or food poisoning. But what Sai said next would change everything:

"And not only that: the smell of my ink's been making me nauseous."

At this, Sakura froze. Throwing up in the morning _and_ increased sense of smell? If she didn't know any better, she'd have sworn the brunet was pregnant. But as a medic-nin, she knew that was impossible. Effeminate as he was, Sai was a male the last time she checked! And there was nothing in his medical records about hermaphrodism or sex changing. So what could it be?

Only one way to find out.

"I'm gonna need you to lie down and unbutton your shirt. I'll check for stomach flu."

Sai did as she asked and Sakura focused her chakra to her hand before skimming it across his stomach. And sure enough, she felt a weird presence, causing her to recoil. No…no! Considering what she knew about Naruto, how could she possibly tell Sai?

"What? What's wrong?" Sai asked when he sat up, panicked at the way Sakura suddenly pulled back and blanched.

Back to her senses, the strawberry blonde looked at Sai's worried face then turned away and began to pace.

"Sakura-san?"

The Godaime's apprentice took a deep breath before turning to face her teammate.

"Sai, you're aware that Naruto's the Kyuubi's vessel, right?"

"Yes, but what's that have to do with anything?"

Judging from the terseness in the other's voice, Sakura knew this was no time to pussyfoot around.

"Well, fox demons like Kyuubi have the ability to…take liberties with reproductive organs. And…I think that's what's happened to you."

Sai's eyes widened. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…you're pregnant."

Sai didn't scream, cry, or do anything Sakura expected him to do.

Instead, he fainted.

* * *

An hour later, Sai had come to and decided to tell Naruto about his pregnancy, with Sakura accompanying him for support. It really had been a lot to take in, the fact that he was somehow carrying a child he and Naruto had conceived together. He hoped this would make the blonde come to his senses and maybe stop messing around. And if not…well, Sai didn't know what to do.

A gasp from Sakura brought him out of his thoughts. Her hands were covering her mouth and her emerald eyes were wide, obvious signs that she was seeing something either shocking or horrifying.

"Sai! Turn back! Turn back!"

Oh, if only Sai had heeded his friend and not struggled against her attempts to push him away or cover his eyes. If nothing else, he'd have been spared the horrible sight of Naruto pounding into his Team Seven predecessor.

* * *

From atop the grass of his grassy knoll, Naruto turned sapphire optics to the darkened firmament above, absurdly wishing that the great Houshukage of the past would advise him on his sex life right now: Sai had found out about Sasuke and the Uchiha probably figured everything out by now (Sakura had pulled Sai away before he could say anything incriminating).

Maybe this was what he got for having his ramen and eating it too.

Before the Aryan-esque one could dwell on this any further, however, a swift kick in the side brought him to his senses…and face-to-face with an angry Uchiha. Rubbing his side (and not liking the ire in the Uchiha's features), Naruto decided he'd deal with his best-friend-turned-uke right now, and deal with Sai later.

"What was that for?"

"Do you honestly take me for a fool, dobe?" Sasuke growled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me. Sakura told me everything, about this little love triangle that's been going ever since I returned!"

"She did?" Naruto couldn't help but find it ironic that instead of Sakura telling Sai, she told Sasuke everything.

Sasuke gave a glare that meant death if Naruto lied.

"Alright! I did go all the way with Sai. But Sasuke, I promise you it was a fling, _a fling_…and it meant nothing, _nothing—_!"

Sasuke's features darkened even further. "Oh, I'm sure it was _nothing_, as you say…" He growled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah! He was hot, I was desperate…and he got lucky."

"Lucky?" repeated the Uchiha, his onyx eyes blazing. "When did this happen?"

Typical Sasuke. Why couldn't he just let it go? "A month before you returned. It was nothing, _nothing,_ teme! I haven't felt for him since you came back!"

"Oh, you haven't!" said another voice.

Turning their heads, Naruto and Sasuke saw the third member of their dilemma, who was glaring at Naruto with glistening onyx orbs that usually matched his predecessor's.

_Oh shit._

And so the rest of the Kyuubi vessel's waking hours were spent dodging a gauntlet of kunai, shuriken, and hordes of Choujuu Giga, which eventually ended when the brunets' sicknesses kicked in.

There's an old saying that a woman scorned hath the wrath of Hell. As Naruto just learned, those women hath nothing on a scorned Sasuke and Sai.


	5. Chapter V: A Wicked Thing to Say

**On the previous Wicked Game:** Naruto refused to choose between the ravens…and it wasn't pretty.

**All the odds are in my favor****  
****Something's bound to begin****  
****It's gonna happen, happen sometime****  
****Maybe this time  
****Maybe this time I'll win**

—from Cabaret's Maybe This Time

A Wicked Thing to Say

_Adjacent from the Academy was something no primary institution of education could do without: a playground. Hey, even shinobi needed a break from reality. _

_In close proximity of the swing set where, years earlier, a certain knucklehead sat lamenting his lack of adoration, sat a sandbox, atop of which stood three newly-dubbed Genin. _

_The trio, as was tradition, consisted of two boys and one girl. The two males were currently bickering over whose turn it was to play with a ball they'd recently found, whilst their companion had nothing better to do than watch them squabble like the typical boys they were._

_Heaving a deep sigh of hopelessness, the young femme crossed her arms in frustration towards her future comrades. Really, what was the point? This bickering wasn't getting either of them any closer to getting that damn ball!_

_Come to think of it, she had wanted the ball too, but her "teammates" had gotten to it first and no way in hell was she sinking to their level, she thought to herself, turning her gaze from her companions to the spherical object of their contention…_

_Minutes later, when the boys turned in the direction of their teammate to help settle their stalemate, she was gone. _

_And so was the ball. _

* * *

The days to follow were of sulking and general boredom. Sai sat on the rooftop of his apartment, silent, with knees drawn to his chin, black orbs squinting crossly at the horizon as if it'd done him a personal wrong.

Blocks away, a similar-looking, albeit longer-haired, brunet leaned against the cracked wall of his halfway home, a similar incensed look marring his features.

The object of their wrath, Uzumaki Naruto, had not emerged from his apartment for days. The villagers had enjoyed the rare peace and quiet that resulted and thus, no one had ventured to check on him.

In the midst of this rarity (and festering dilemma) sat a strawberry blonde with orbs of emerald, her gaze directed at the bowl of ramen at her fore. She was at Ichiraku's, not so much eating those noodles as playing with the fishcakes it was topped with…

Naruto's namesake.

She released her chopsticks, covering her face with her hands as she heaved a deep sigh at this last thought.

She wanted him. She didn't know what it was, but she wanted him. Maybe it was because after seeing Sasuke's true colors, she really was desperate for any straight (or bi) male in Mount Oinari who found her even remotely attractive, not to mention easy on her own eyes.

Which meant Lee with his thick brows was definitely out of the question.

But Naruto, loud-mouthed and idiotic as he was, fit the bill perfectly. Which was why it was…frustrating, to say the least, that it was her former crush and his replacement who had the blonde's affections.

At this last bit, dark thoughts pertaining to her equally dark teammates entered her cranium, such as somehow taking Naruto from their clutches and into hers.

Now any reader knows how cruel this is for a teammate, especially one who's had a relatively easier life than her counterparts, to think. But so caught up was she in her unthinkable lust for the blonde that she hardly realized this…nor did she realize that the aforementioned brunets weren't even happy with their lover…

"Sakura!"

"Sakura-san!"

Oh God. Speak of the devils, the strawberry blonde thought darkly to herself as she snapped out of her reverie. She straightened in her seat, having prepared a fake smile with which to greet her teammates.

"Hey, guys," she greeted in as natural a voice as she could muster. The ravens, however, were obviously in no mood for pleasantries.

"Sakura, the dobe has gone too far." Sasuke had always been one to get straight to the point.

What? No, wait…this sounded promising. They were displeased with their lover! No way could she miss this!

"What'd that idiot do now?"

"Let me put it this way, Sakura-san:"—it was Sai who spoke this time—"Maybe I should change his nickname from 'Dickless' to 'Pig'."

"When we told him he could only choose _one_ of us to fuck, he didn't want to ruin the 'fun' he was having with us."

"Really?" made Sakura's response, though it didn't come out as scandalized as she would've liked. She only hoped the ravens didn't notice.

Recovering, she formulated a more relevant question. "So…why are you guys coming to me?"

"We want your advice, Sakura-san."

"Advice?"

"Since you know more about relationships than either of us,"—at this, the Uchiha gave a brief glare at the ex-TAMA shinobi, slightly miffed—"I figured you could tell us what to do."

Oh.

Caught off-guard by the other's confidence in her words of wisdom, Sakura averted her eyes back to her cooling ramen, thinking of how to phrase her "advice" delicately. Maybe bluntness was the best approach.

"Well…dump him, I say!"

Ooooh, even to _her_ that sounded bad. And judging from her teammates' expressions, Sasuke looking incredulous and Sai looking hurt, they thought it was bad as well.

The Sharingan user was the first to recover.

"And how the fuck do you suppose we do _that_?"

Heaving a half-sigh, half-groan in frustration, the Godaime's apprentice slammed her chopsticks atop her ramen bowl, turning her frame so as to fully face her teammates.

"Look," she started, rubbing her cranium as if suffering a migraine, "I'm sorry, but that's the only thing either of you can do in this situation. At least, that's what _I_ would do: dump his cheating ass. And—and this is just the stuff we know about!"

"But Sakura-san," Sai said softly, looking ready to cry, which sent a brief wave of remorse through the pink-haired femme, "surely there's some way for this to work out."

Now it was Sakura's turn for incredulity to cross her features. "You mean you two _still_ love him, even after all he did to you?" Even she was slowly becoming aware of the fact that she practically screeched that last part.

A tense silence followed, broken later by the longer-haired brunet.

"If that's the best advice you're gonna give us, maybe you should talk to the _dobe_ instead."

Sakura, who'd turned back to her ramen in frustration during the awkward silence, jerked back up, looking at her former crush with wide eyes.

"I give you advice you don't like and now you want me to talk to _him_?"

Sasuke briefly shrugged, ignoring the equally shocked expression directed to him by his lookalike.

"That usuratonkachi seems to have more respect for you than either of us right now; not to mention that _you're_ not currently being fucked by him."

Well. How was that for bluntness?

Whatever it was, this meant that now was definitely not the time to treat this situation lightly anymore.

With a look of deep thought upon tomboyish features, the pink-haired apprentice of the Godaime crossed her arms and legs, listening to her Inner Self egg her on with the notion of this being a perfect opportunity to seize the oft-mentioned jinchuuriki.

A minute later, she turned back to the now impatient faces of her teammates.

"All right. I'll talk to him tomorrow. But I'm not making any promises."

With that, she turned back to her ramen, finally putting the noodles to her mouth…only to find them too cool.

* * *

It was an hour later when Sakura finally paid for her (reheated) ramen. Her teammates had long since returned to their homes, having refused to join her for ramen.

Sakura was currently walking back to her home, resisting her Inner Self's urge to grin and laugh wickedly in glee. How could those two be so foolish! Having _her_, of all people, talking to Naruto on their behalf! Of course, they weren't aware of the feelings she harbored for their blond lover…

Which was a good thing, she thought to herself as she shuddered at the notion of their reactions were this otherwise.

The pink-haired femme shook her head of such unpleasant thoughts, replacing them instead with thoughts of getting that loveable blonde idiot in her clutches as she hummed a merry tune.


	6. Chapter VI: A Wicked Thing to Do

**On the previous WG:** At their wits' end, Sai and Sasuke have asked Sakura to talk some sense into the AWOL Naruto…not knowing that she wants in on Blondie as well…

**Oh, look what you've done****  
****You've made a fool of everyone****  
****A fool of everyone****  
****A fool of everyone ****  
**

—from JET's Look What You've Done

A Wicked Thing to Do

"Naruto?"

"Monster Strength?"

Said strawberry blonde sighed. _Again_ with the super strength?

"Yes, it's me. Monster Strength."

From the other side of the door, she heard a tired sigh before he emerged.

The sight of him was nearly unbearable. The blond spiky hair of the Kyuubi vessel was matted and knotted. His eyes were dull, rather than the shocking azure they usually were, in addition to them being bloodshot, and his face was littered with unshaved stubble.

Sakura looked in disgust at him as he allowed her to enter. "What have you been doing?"

"Drowning my worries in Kuroda's drink of choice," Naruto responded as he made his way to the bathroom, crushing and throwing a freshly emptied beer can amidst a scattering of its type on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" he added as he immersed his stubble in shaving cream.

Sakura sighed as well as she seated herself on Naruto's bed. "Sai and Sasuke—we really need to talk about them."

"Sakura-chan, can we discuss this elsewhere?" a partially-shaved Naruto said, gesturing with his cranium to his Augean apartment before turning his gaze to his pink-haired teammate.

"Okay," Sakura sighed as she watched her blond teammate dress (for he'd been wearing a muscle shirt and boxers). "Where?"

"Sakura-chan, you never say 'where' to a future Houshukage in that tone." Naruto winked, opening the window and leading Sakura out of his apartment.

"Wait!" responded Sakura. It took an effort to match the blonde's swift pace. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere I'm sure you'll find familiar," Naruto said, that familiar foxy grin splitting his face once more. "C'mon!" He began leaping to the east of his apartment.

The ninja they passed (Sai, Sasuke, and their sensei among them) cocked their eyebrows at the behavior of Naruto and Sakura.

Finally, the pair came to a forest surrounded by a chain link fence, an area that was indeed very familiar to the duo.

"When you said somewhere familiar," Sakura panted, "I didn't know you meant our old training grounds."

"All the better for us to talk," replied Naruto as they made their way through the trees.

Sakura blushed, for this reminder made her recall that something in her that had developed for the Kyuubi vessel. Not that their teammates knew. And she most certainly did _not_ tell them when they'd asked her to talk to the aforementioned blonde. What would they think? Or worse…what would they _do?_

Then, she remembered that she was here to discuss serious matters. "Listen, you," she said seriously, "Our teammates are very upset. They said you refused to choose between them and that you were having _fun_ with both of them."

Naruto met her explanation with a nod. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Sakura-chan," he said. "I did say such things."

A half-sigh half-groan emitted from Tsunade's apprentice. "Just when I thought you couldn't be any more idiotic—"

"—it was dumb, I know!" the Kyuubi vessel interjected, cutting her off. "Hell, I'm lucky those weren't my famous last words!"

Sakura crossed her arms, directing a more exasperated look in her teammate's direction.

"Can you blame them? You're probably the first thing they've loved in so long, and if you were gonna treat them like this, especially when both are carrying your feeble-minded buns in their ovens, you might as well just break things off right now!"

Well. _This_ was certainly news to Naruto, the fact that both his _male_ teammates were somehow carrying his kits (though it did explain a lot). But even in a moment like this, the blonde could only say this:

"And _they_ can't?"

"You should've seen their faces when _I _suggested that; I might as well have called Sasuke Orochimaru's bitch and accused Sai of killing his brother. So yeah, _they_ sure as hell aren't breaking up with _you_."

The jinchuuriki's eyebrows rose. "Wow. Sounds like you were lucky those weren't _your_ famous last words."

"Well, whatever. So why can't you just make it easier for them, for all of you, and just break it off with both of them?"

"Hell no."

"Why? Isn't being their teammate enough?"

"Well, I'm sorry my foxy-tude is causing so much drama. I'd tone it down…but I just don't know how!" Naruto exclaimed in a tone that was anything but apologetic, leaving Sakura to stare uncomprehendingly.

"Sakura-chan, you know I have hormones," Naruto joked, still trying to lighten the mood, "and they got the better of me. Besides, 'tween you and me, they're both one hell of a lay."

"A HELL OF A LAY?" burst the kunoichi opposite him. She stood now, appearing taller and abler than Naruto. "That's all you can say?"

"No, no, Sakura-chan, lemme rephrase that—" He was standing as well now.

"Rephrase nothing! You're even more messed up than I thought!" At that last word, she struck him across his jaw, sending him slamming against the fence with a grunt. Gasping, she recoiled, putting a hand over her mouth.

"Ouch," Naruto said jokingly, a weak smile growing as he rubbed the incipient bruise.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." The incident had scared Sakura, who was attempting a feeble smile after running over and kneeling next to him. "I just…saw red. That's all." She flared her nostrils, inhaling deeply to clear the cloudiness from her eyes resulting from her earlier outburst.

A bitter smile graced Naruto's features. "It's fine," he said resignedly, "People do it all the time."

"Oh, don't talk like that!" Sakura scolded, beginning to examine her latest masterpiece.

"Hey, it's only the truth, Sakura-chan," he teased. He was well aware of how much the strawberry blonde loathed his insults when geared towards himself.

"No it's not…our teammates feel differently," Sakura pointed out.

"But they did it to me, too," Naruto retorted, his grin decreasing only slightly.

"Well, okay," said Sakura, a docile look of neutrality gracing her own features. "I suppose I can accept that." Then to the blonde's surprise, she winked at him, her smile returning.

"W-what are you doing?" She now had him pinned to the ground in a very suggestive position.

"It's my turn not to lie to you," Sakura stated seductively as she straddled the blonde beneath her. "Remember how you once wanted me? Well, I don't know how it happened, but now, _I_ want _you_." Her smile grew into the smirk of a she-devil. "You remember the _fun_ you were having with the boys…I can't let _them_ have all the fun."

At that moment, as emerald orbs gazed into those of sapphire, the vulpine possessor of said sapphires felt his old desire for the emerald-eyed one come surging back.

That vulpine grin split his face again, this time with a hint of seduction. "I guess I can love you again," Naruto responded, "Monster Strength."

A sultry guffaw emitted from the Godaime's apprentice as she punched him again, playfully this time. "I should certainly hope so."

It is a terrible thing to betray your teammates…especially for sexual reasons. That was what Kakashi had told them from day one…without the sexual part. However, this thought did not cross Sakura or Naruto's minds—that, or it'd been cast aside—as they got caught up in the escapade of lovers' fun.

What sounded like gasps, some muffled screams, and rustling suddenly erupted from the botanical life surrounding them, destroying the mood and causing a slightly disheveled Sakura to look around.

"What was that?" Had they been followed? God help them if it was the boys…

"Forget it," replied her equally disheveled blonde paramour. "Prolly just some animal." It was a forest, after all.

With that, the young medic-nin shrugged and together, the diversely blond couple resumed their foreplay.

Yes, it is a terrible thing to betray your teammates, especially for sexual reasons. That thought may have been forgotten by the two lovers, but it hadn't been forgotten by others on their team. And had the aforementioned lovers bothered to inspect the flora surrounding them, they would have discovered said others…struggling and grieving in their sensei's grasp.


	7. Chapter VII: Only Gonna Break Your Heart

**On the previous Wicked Game:** Sakura has gotten in on Naruto (not that he minds)…and Sai and Sasuke are pissed. VERY pissed.**  
**

**I understand your objection****  
****I grant you the problem's not small****  
****But if you could see her through my eyes****  
****She wouldn't look…**_**Jewish**_**…at all.**

—from Cabaret's If You Could See Her

Only Gonna Break Your Heart

Night had passed. The anger, however, had not.

* * *

Sakura was as she had been since two days ago: smug and gleefully pleased with herself, as she only was when Inner Sakura took over. She now had the loveable blond idiot in her clutches, as was evident by the fact that she was currently lying in said blonde's bed.

It was early morning, around nine to be exact. The diverse blondes were sleeping off the afterglow of last night's exertions. However, Sakura had awoken and was now gazing lovingly upon her ill-gotten blonde, a mischievous grin gracing her features as she observed his foolish manner of slumber.

Extending a tentative hand, she playfully batted the side of the jinchuuriki's face.

It didn't take long to rouse him. "Ugh…teme, what do you want now…" he groaned groggily, cringing at the sudden flash of sunlight to reach his orbs.

Sakura barely resisted the urge to pummel him. "It's not Sasuke."

"Oh?" said Naruto, turning his cranium towards Sakura's voice.

"Yep. It's me, Monster Strength." To prove this, she batted the dumb blonde a little harder.

"Oh! Sorry, Sakura-chan," Naruto muttered sheepishly as he rose to greet her. "An honest mistake, I promise."

That same forgiving grin like that of the day before crossed her features as she shook her head in reluctant amusement.

"I guess I can forgive you…"—she gave him a quick kiss—"this time."

With that, she crawled even closer to her ill-gotten paramour, both ready for another round.

* * *

Having long stopped their screwing, the jinchuuriki and his vixen were adjusting their clothes and hair in the bathroom mirror, discussing their current dilemma.

"So what should we do about the boys? Obviously, I can't just tell them we hooked up. They'd get super-pissed." And that last bit alone was an understatement.

"I think I got it," ventured Naruto. "You tell them that we talked and that…I'll tell them who I'll be with in another, oh, decade or so."

"Naruto!"

"Okay, another week, then. And when that week passes and everything's cooled down, I'll tell them that I found someone else—"

"—and then, I'll tell them that it's me."

"Exactly."

After making the needed adjustments, the diversely blonde paramours left the bathroom and sat on Naruto's bed.

"But until then," Sakura continued, "we can't let anyone we know see us together. Otherwise, it'll get around to Sai and Sasuke…and it won't be a pretty picture."

"Don't I know it."

Of course, _not_ being seen together would prove difficult, seeing as both were in the blonde's apartment.

* * *

Sometime later, Naruto arrived at Ichiraku's, followed a few minutes later by Sakura. They'd finally figured out how not to be seen together, albeit requiring them to leave Naruto's apartment at different times (with Sakura using the window) and Sakura having to find a roundabout way to the ramen stand. But at least neither of them encountered their teammates or anyone else they knew.

"Hey, kids!"

Until now.

Shit, thought both former pupils of the White Fang's son as he took a seat beside Sakura and ordered his ramen.

"What's going on?" the perpetually-masked man continued, not looking at either of his students, making it all the more suspicious to Naruto and Sakura.

"Nothing," the blue-eyed one almost blurted, wanting this conversation over with. "What's new with you?"

"Well, I saw something _very_ interesting at our old training grounds yesterday…"

The diversely blonde students of the Copy Nin froze.

"Y-you did?" made Sakura's response, trying (and failing) to sound as casual as possible as a blush graced hers and Naruto's faces, which neither of them could bring to look at their perverted sensei.

"Hmm-hmm. And I must say that I never thought you had it in you, Sakura-chan."

The strawberry blonde femme giggled nervously at this.

But their sensei wasn't through with them yet. "Y'know, if you two are worried about word of this getting out, relax: your secret's safe with me."

Behind his mask, Kakashi couldn't help but show amusement at the great sigh of relief that emitted from his two students.

"One thing I should mention, though: I'm not the only one who knows about you two."

"But you said—"

"—that your secret was safe with _me_, yes; I didn't say I was the _only_ one who saw you at our training grounds."

"Oh God. So Yamato-taichou knows about us too?"

"And two others."

A chill and a glance—cold, shallow, and afraid—directed at each other went through the now-ashen faces of the fox and his vixen at these words.

"Two others?" Sakura croaked, now failing miserably at sounding normal.

"Hmm-hmm. And a little warning, especially for you, Sakura-chan—(he took this moment to jerk his thumb over his shoulder)—I wouldn't wanna be you in about two seconds."

Neither blonde dared turn around, lest they face the undoubtedly wrathful glares of their teammates.

_We're dead. We are so dead_.

The rest of the afternoon was spent dodging a barrage of kunai, shuriken, and Choujuu Giga until once again, the ravens' sicknesses kicked in (first Sasuke, then Sai) and the blondes took refuge in Tsunade's office (much to the buxom woman's displeasure, considering that she'd been sleeping off a hangover when the two had burst in).

So much for not being found out. But what did that matter now, when they'd gotten away? Such was the rhetorical question that passed through the faces of the two ruinous lovers as they shared an odd, almost fey laugh.


	8. Chapter VIII: Nobody Loves No One

**On the previous WG:** The shit's finally hit the fan.

**Author's Note:** This chapter was inspired by the ending of the movie Trainspotting. I highly recommend watching it!

**You had****  
****hands girl boy****  
****and steel boy****  
****You had chemicals boy****  
****I've grown so close to you****  
****Boy and you just groan boy****  
****She said come over come over****  
****She smiled at you boy.**

—from Underworld's Born Slippy (Nuxx)

Nobody Loves No One

"What was _that_ all about? You ran like Akatsuki was at your heels, brat!" Naruto and Sakura had just emerged from under her desk after bolting in quite unexpectedly.

"It wasn't Akatsuki," Naruto assured the buxom blonde, "but believe me: what we ran from was just as bad."

"Like what?"

"Balls-and-chains."

Tsunade stared blankly at the blonde for about five seconds.

"I'm not even gonna ask what that means." Then, to the astonishment of her (unofficial) successor and apprentice, she perked up. "Well, I have to get ready for tonight."

"What's tonight?"

"Poker Night," Sakura said for the male blonde's benefit. In addition to alcoholism, Poker Night was a tradition for Tsunade ever since before she became Houshukage. And as her apprentice, Sakura had often joined her on these aleatory (and alcoholic) excursions.

"You can join us if you want, brat," Tsunade said, giving a mischievous wink. "I'm feelin' lucky tonight."

Her strawberry blonde apprentice rolled her eyes, sighing exasperatedly before placing her arms akimbo. "That's what you said _last_ time. And that was with charity money!"

In response, Tsunade gave an apathetic wave as if waving away her trainee's doubt. "Oh, stop dwelling on the past. You sound like Shizune."

Sakura closed her eyes in frustration as she sighed through her nose. Did Tsunade have to compare her, even tangentially, to that prude? Sure, Shizune was a good woman, but still…

Pushing that unpleasantry aside, she turned back to Naruto. "So, are you gonna join us?"

Naruto thought this over for a minute. He wasn't much of a gambler, but it'd probably be safer to stay at Baachan's office than go back to his apartment; even if Sai and Sasuke had given up their pursuit of him tonight, they were sure to come to his apartment first thing tomorrow. And speaking of those two, maybe staying here would give him some time to think of what to do about them if nothing else.

With this in mind, the blond kitsune turned back to the inquiring face of his new vixen. "Sure."

* * *

If there was one thing that Sakura could say about this evening for years to come, it would be that she and everyone else was surprised by Tsunade's good luck, even the Godaime herself. It was a few minutes after one in the morning (one hour after Poker Night officially ended) and Tsunade had managed to win 2 million yen out of the usual suspects (among whom Naruto's friend Kuroda was present). Said usual suspects had left an hour earlier, disgruntled and some muttering "cheat" under their breaths (to which Tsunade responded "sore losers" under her own breath). This left Naruto and Sakura alone with the drunkards well past their prime, both of whom had just passed out after their drinking contest, with Tsunade as the victor by two seconds.

In contrast to the events aforementioned, the two blondes had stayed relatively sober, a necessity to plan their next move. Both were well aware of the following: they couldn't hide out at Tsunade's forever, and Sai and Sasuke were no doubt still…not exactly happy with them.

And on top of that, there was also that elephant in the room called fatherhood looming over Naruto like the sword of Damocles. No way in the Eight Hells would he be a good father; much like love, learning how to be a good parent was something you had to learn on your own, and Naruto didn't exactly have the best examples in his life.

Naruto was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of shuffling coming from his left. In the dim light, he could make out Sakura rinsing out Tsunade's shot glass and drinking of it herself before returning to her snoring master, where she began grabbing wad after wad of the ill-gained cash and stuffing it into her bag.

"Sakura-chan, what're you doing?" Naruto hissed, eyes wide in disbelief.

"What does it look like?" Sakura hissed back as she continued with the last few wads of cash. "We have enough here to start a new life and now's the best time to leave."

"But, Sakura-chan…"

The strawberry blonde sighed softly before approaching Naruto, squatting until they were eye-to-eye. "Naruto, you know we fucked up. Royally. There's no way we can stay here with what we did hanging over our heads…especially you."

Especially you. Never in Naruto's life had two words hit him so hard. He already knew what a mess he made, but somehow, his new vixen's words made them more real, made him see visions of himself variously shackled to Sai, Sasuke, and their kits. Having to focus on something not abstract like leading a village, but something all too personal. Never another chance to be himself, his carefree self.

As if sensing his distress, Sakura cupped his cheek with her free hand, a gentle smile forming on her features. "This is our shot, our chance at a clean break, and we may never get an opportunity like this again."

Naruto opened his mouth to object, but closed it again, for what was there to say anyway? That this was out of the question? Usually, the self-proclaimed future Houshukage would've been completely against what he knew Sakura was planning. But as everyone learns (often the hard way) from Murphy's Law, there's an exception to everything.

And in this particular exception, Naruto saw something even his Way of the Ninja couldn't fix.

"Alright," he breathed out, feeling as if a great weight rolled off his shoulders. He offered a small smile to Sakura, who in turn kissed him and stroked the whisker-marks of his cupped cheek before returning to her master's side.

He stood up to join the pink-haired femme, who was currently scribbling something on a piece of paper. Watching her, Naruto fingered the crystal necklace that hung around his neck. Years ago, he'd won this "unlucky" necklace from Tsunade with the oath that he would one day become Houshukage. But what good was it now?

The blond favorite of Tsunade turned back to his predecessor, slipping off the trinket that held so much sentimental value and laying it gingerly in front of her before he and his new vixen made their way to the doorway.

The pair scanned the room, taking inventory of anyone who might have seen them. Tsunade was still asleep, but Kuroda had somehow awoken, his shocked gaze shifting between the now destitute fore of his opponent and the two shinobi she favored the most.

The diverse blondes froze as the drunkard's gaze zeroed in on them. To their relief, however, Kuroda made no move to awake Tsunade. Instead, he only shook his head, his eyes silently pleading for them to stop whatever they were doing.

But there was no going back now. With the slightest of sad smiles, Naruto gave a small nod and Sakura a small wave to the older brunet before making their way outside. Once outside and after taking one last glance, they walked away from the Houshukage Tower, walked away from Oinari, walked away from their dilemma.

But most importantly…

They walked away from everything (and everyone) they knew for good.

* * *

On an Oinari street, two brunets, one renowned for his artistry, the other for his lineage, made their way to the Houshukage Tower, having already searched the homes and other haunts of their diversely blond teammates. As with three days earlier, Sai and Sasuke had decided to put aside their differences (for the time being, at least) so they could confront said teammates about the day before.

Of course, they couldn't anticipate the slap in the face life was about to give them…

* * *

The Godaime woke up, groaning slightly as the sunlight of morning reached her amber optics. Holding her hand to her head in attempts to soothe her hangover-induced headache, her bloodshot orbs widened as they took in the lack of her winnings. Instead, there was only the necklace she'd given Naruto so long ago, placed atop a piece of paper with something scrawled onto it.

Shaking slightly, Tsunade picked up the white sheet, only to read the following in her apprentice's handwriting:

_Tsunade-shishou,_

_ Naruto and I are off. We promise to enjoy the cash._

_ Ja ne, Haruno Sakura_

_ P.S. Sai: Remember your old philosophy concerning fake smiles? __Macbeth__, II.2.__120-121: Where we are, / There's daggers in men's smiles._

_ P.P.S. Sasuke-kun: What goes around comes around, ne?_

_ P.P.P.S. Both: Neither of you were a hard act to follow._


End file.
